Your mouth is God's brothel.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
