They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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