I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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