I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
