I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
