The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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