I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
