we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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