I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
