well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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