garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
