fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
