ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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