I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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