He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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