Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
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