i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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