as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
