I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize