I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
