Cold hands, warm shart.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize