just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize