I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The dick lei will go down in squad history
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
