Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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