We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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