the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
