Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
