i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
