we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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