oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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