she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
