I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
