i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
