his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
