Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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