That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
