i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
