now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
