Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
