There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
