I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
