I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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