so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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