i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
