So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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