careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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