do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
