So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
