Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
