It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
