genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
