i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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