Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
