Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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