The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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