Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
