I puked a lego.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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