but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
