I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
