saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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