So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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