is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
