I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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