Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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